I had a pretty awesome weekend— one of my friends from Brussels came to see me and we revelled in the gloriousness that is my life now. We went to a carnival and ate lots of free food and signed waivers on our lives before clambering into a rickety Ferris wheel that in combination with the fear from the previous night’s activities was maybe not the smartest thing to do…but hey, we’re young. But now it’s Monday and we all know how I feel on Mondays because I wrote this last week and never posted it but it’s pretty much still valid:

I had an amazing weekend. Not only are the injuries I sustained whilst pit-biking on one of my earlier days here now almost fully healed but I got to spend it with one of my best friends who, until I moved just two hours from LA, lived several thousand miles away from me. Among the things we got up to were some Pinterest-based crafts and attending the Goleta Lemon Festival. Unfortunately it’s now Monday morning and, having wiped all the remnants of glitter unicorn off my face I’m starting to suffer the consequences of my weekend. What do I do? Here is a list of ten things to do to combat the mean reds.

a)Eat. Whatever floats your boat. Right now I’m altering between peanut butter, crisps and super healthy açai bowls.
b)Watch shitty TV, preferably in combination with a). This should not be confused with wallowing, and someone may only scold you on this one if it is a Friday or Saturday evening. If anyone tries to interfere with this activity you must give them the timeless ultimatum: ICOGTFO (ice cream or get the fuck out)
c)Buy things online. Of course this is only recommended if you actually have money in your account as it can very quickly lead to mascara stains on the old pillowcase if not. So check your balance first. If in doubt only buy it if it’s on sale and tell yourself you’ll return it if it doesn’t fit.
d)Read a book. It’s great, you should try it. When I’m feeling this way I might reach for some Hardy or some Tolstoy but unless you enjoy hurling things across the room screaming “WHY TESS/ANNA/SCARLET/insert heroine here, WHY??” Then I suggest you play it safe and reread Harry Potter, just make sure you skip the sad bits.
e)Talk to your friends. It’s the best way to counteract that “I have no friends” feeling.
f)Under no circumstances whatsoever are you to contemplate the universe or its greater meaning, or your life and where the hell it’s going, or basically anything that requires sustained thought. No. N-O. Not even if you have an assignment. That’s for Tuesday to deal with, OK?
g) Pretend you can fly.
h) Look at pictures of cute animals.
i) Manipulate someone into giving you a massage, or if that fails, pay someone to give you a massage.
j) Remind yourself that your life isn’t always Monday.